| Samz 的个人资料Beats & Pieces照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
|
5月5日 last postHey you, my legions of rabid, adoring fans! This blog is now defunct. My new blog is at http://forest-green-mountain-blue.blogspot.com
Cya there! 4月3日 One way.I'm back from the Philippines! These 1.5 days back home have been great. And now I'm leaving again for India for another month.
It's been a month of rediscovering a God's love and plan for my life. Of deep, intimate friendships with the most unlikely of friends. Of finding the courage to stop running away, to reconcile and protect what's close to my heart.
In my absence, it also seems like things have been happening in my family and church. But I believe that in all things God works for our good, and will let not my heart be troubled.
O God, have Your way in me. Amen. 3月8日 last callI thought that I'd be happy to leave Singapore, but now that it's time to pack up and go, there's this familiar tugging at something deep inside that makes me drag my feet.
Is it a fear of the unknown? The thought of having to be independent? I don't think so.
I think it's the ties that bind my heart to that of so many others. Separation (though temporary), it seems, not only makes the heart grow fonder. It also causes a retrosternal squeezing sensation (not to be confused with a heart attack), and lacrimal activation. Comfort is found in the knowledge that the God that holds my tomorrow in His hands, has hands big enough for the whole world and then some.
Well. See you in May.
2月27日 you got mailDear Sam Sim, it's great to see you aren't so tired and burdened anymore. You had me a lil worried there during paeds/patho period. But you're thru all that and now it's the fantastic electives, no? Prof K is inspiring, is she not. And in the midst of all that and the joy of an upcoming overseas adventure, do remember the important things in life. First, your family. Mum is complaining how you spend minimal time at home, and haven't been to see Grandma in months. I know, I know, you've got all those church meetings and cell stuff and what not, but Grandma's the only grand-anything you have left. So while she's still AND and IADL independant, bring her out for dimsum. Spend some nights over at her place - she probably has lotsa lonely nights. Remember, if ever you're tempted (and I know you are) to be proud of your skills/achievements/cleverness etc, that you're just a stroke away from hemiparesis, 40 years from arthritis and 60 years from dementia. Even at your peak, you'll never be as good as Clapton or Mayer anyway. A man is not defined by the abundance of his possessions, the greatness of his skills or how smart he is. A true man is secure in Jesus Christ, loves God, and gives his life to a vision that outlasts him. Love your friends. Go the extra mile for them, not because "good relations" makes working together easier, but because they are friends. It's easy to be happy while insulating yourself from the hurts of those around you, but then again you don't want a heart rusty from disuse, do you? Keep your heart tender, share another's burdens, and have faith that when the time comes someone will share yours. Finally, make an effort to pray. If you love God, you would talk to Him - in all seasons and at all times. Pray for strength. For wisdom. For a safe trip. For your family. For patients. For Razo. For weight loss (with a sensible exercise programme, of course). For a girl with long hair, hot legs and a car to drop from heaven into your arms. For perseverance in trial. For more love for God and the people around. For your friends. Pray. Keep your feet firm, your eyes fixed on the goal, and guard your heart. And don't forget to travel light - there may be a twist or two yet. See you at the great gig in the sky. Love, Sam 2月18日 5 points and no connectorsI have a few random thoughts running through right now that I can't seem to arrange in a proper thematic post, so I'll just label them with numbers and you'll hafta make sense of it yourself. aha.
1. I repaired my discman (myself! orthopaedic surgery here i come!), got myself a pair of new earphones (Ya, I'm kinda picky about these stuff), and John Mayer's Continuum album. I love Mayer's music. He's like a contemporary Clapton - great guitar skills, blues-rock cool, and so much soul. For the uninitiated, go hear Mayer's 'gravity', 'slow dancing in a burning room', 'belief', 'I'm gonna find another you' and 'dreaming with a broken heart'.
2. My current elective is a blast! Gen Med with a great tutor and team, and at year 4 when you actually know what they are talking about, is great. Prof K has a way of teaching us without making us sound/look/feel stupid, although that is what we are. aha.
3. Today something rather unpleasant happened, and I guess the ugliness of medical students (or is it of mankind by extrapolation?) was on full display where it does the most damage - behind someone's back. I plugged into John Mayer to tune out the barbs, but maybe standing up for what is right would have been better. Somehow I seem to always have more courage after the occasion passes.
4. My overseas electives are coming closer, and I've (finally?) been hit by the realisation that the 2 months are a real, exciting, maybe dangerous and probably diarrhoea-inducing venture into the foreign unknown. Ah, at least I've had my shots (except Rabies...Cheryl will hafta delay the mad dogs while I try to run on a injured knee).
5. I guess that's it. 2月4日 Warning: some medical jargonI just got 3 jabs today! I only meant to get 2 (hepA and typhoid), but I let the friendly doctor talk me into getting the flu jab too. Excerpts of our conversation:
(Him) "Which is your dominant hand? I'll give the typhoid to your non-dominant one, it tends to ache abit."
(Me) "My right hand is dominant. But I play guitar with my left!"
(Him) "So which arm do you like?"
(Me) " I like both!"
(Joanne) *laughs*
All in, I'm still getting one less vaccination than Joanne and Charlene - the oral Cholera vaccine. I really don't think it's necessary. But the doctor said something interesting: what is your risk threshold? If the risk is 0.5%? 1%? Will you take the vaccine then?
Doctors like to talk about risk - people and events become percentages - something easy to understand, but not exactly meaningful to the individual. The risk of contracting TB in India may be 1% in endemic areas (i.e. if 100 people go, only 1 will get it, statistically speaking), but that 1% may include yours truly the dearly beloved Samuel Sim Syn Pin. haha. What then?
I believe in taking reasonable precautions, but having all the bases covered is probably impossible. The God who holds my tomorrow in His hands is the God who knows and plans what is best for me - from the patho result in my exam folder (B!!! HahAHaAHaha) to the long-haired, hot-legged, car-owning babe who's gonna marry me someday. Thus I try not to worry about tomorrow, cos it does nothing to make me taller (can anyone tell me which bible verse that's from?) And one day, when my work is done, He'll take me home on high to jam with the angels. Hope to see you one day on those golden streets. 1月31日 spring+cleanHappy Chinese New Year, everyone! Okay, I'm a little slow, but it's still the new year period!
For the 1st time in 4 years I've no exam to look forward to during this festive period, which means that my holiday is truly a holiday. Yay! Dad/mum took full advantage of this and got me painting the outside wall of my house, helping with festive cooking, bringing grandma to eye clinic etc. But it seems that the older I get, the more I actually want to these stuff that a younger me would have loathed - it gives me a chance to spend time with family!
Spring cleaning does have a deeper meaning - it is preparing for a new start by clearing out the junk and filth that has accumulated in the year. In a way, every day of our lives is like that - a chance to start something anew, to mend our fences, bind old wounds, bury old hatreds and find new love (or rekindle old ones? hmm). The trouble, I guess, is when we resolve to do something new but fail to throw out the old stuff that still clogs our thoughts/attitudes/time.
Ha....think it's time to roll up my sleeves for spring cleaning round 2. 1月15日 maybe(s)I've lost the motivation to blog in recent months (no doubt to the immense distress and grief of my legions of adoring fans)
Maybe I'm less introspective than I used to be (wisdom does come with age, but being introspective isn't quite the same as being wise, right? right?? right???)
Maybe I've run outta things to say (and then again, maybe not)
Maybe it's just the crazy back-to-back exam and festive seasons (late nights and blogging just don't mix)
A friend of mine just closed her blog indefinitely, and left some parting words. Friend, when I figure out what I want to say and how to say them, I will. Probably not as a cryptic sentence in my blog though.
You know, an orthopaedic surgeon once asked me (in OT) if I had a blog. When I said yes, he asked "but isn't that a bit exhibitionistic?" Wow, I never thought of that. It's kinda true though, a blog is revealing your thoughts and experiences to the Toms, Dicks and Harrys of the world...(then again, if blogs are personal exhibitions, Facebook has gotta be a nudist beach in perpetual summer) Then again, maybe it just wasn't the season for blogging...and maybe it is now=) 12月27日 2008Merry Christmas, and a blessed new year!
Christmas is a great way to end the year - a reminder that there is hope! The hope of heaven, and peace on earth.
What a year it has been. There's been heartbreak, faithful friends, good and not-so-good exams, a holiday in Sydney, a horrible misunderstanding, delivering babies in NUH, supper at Tau Huay, standing by a friend in trouble, my great cell group, a friend who is spending Christmas in heaven, reunions, and sweet music on my guitar.
Enough of sentimentality. Next year will be fantastic, I'm sure. So ya, 2009 here I come! 12月18日 overAnd so I return to an empty room to collect my bag, say thank you goodbye to the Paeds secretary and leave KK for the last time this year.
Finally it's over, Christmas is here, and all's well with the world. Boy, it's been a tumultous 2 months in Paeds, lots to be thankful for, lots to get deprssed over, and I'm glad it's all over. Still in post-exam paralysis though, probably need a day or two to get used to it. aha. tired.....but it seems there's still 1001 things to do.
Well. Never a dull moment in life.
12月8日 LossJust came back from a church retreat, then a JC class gathering when I got the email.
Dr David Ho, my senior in medical school and my friend in Campus Crusade, went home to the Lord early on sunday morning.
I'm...shocked. Was it only a month ago that we were talking in KK about paediatrics, electives and medicine? I remember meeting him and his girlfriend at Novena chicken rice months before, and leading LM worship with him back when he was a student.
And so, within a year, another brother leaves us. One who has shared in our joys and sorrows, who went through medicine and served people as a doctor should, who was a friend, a brother, a son.
O Lord our God, how deep are Your plans, how unsearcheable Your ways. 12月5日 Is it friday already?It suddenly hit me that I should stop blogging on friday nights (this being one of them), cos I'm tired after a whole week and it often makes my posts seem overly melancholic and introspective. Maybe on a tuesday, when my energy is max will be good.
So ya, it's time for the familiar build up to the exam. It seems that medical students are like a sine curve - starting at 0 then rising in knowledge and proficiency as we get (dangerously) close to the exam. Of course there's the return to 0 point, and the slow rise once again. My evenings are spent with SK and his laptop, doing MCQs and SEQs and reading notes. Which can be fun (for all of 2 days at least).
Anyway. I know how I'm gonna spend the 1st day of my study break - gonna wander around my neighbourhood with my Leica SLR! yay. It's gonna be cool. Take lotsa pics and post them up somewhere. Get chased by dogs, spot some hot legs...what fun. haha.
I realise one more thing - I kinda like mild surprises. As in. I found out that my phone could like display the sender of the SMS on the initial display, instead of just (1 message received). I thought it was kinda cool and went to change it...then realised that it took the fun outta exciting anticipation of who the message could be from/what it contains. haha. So i changed it back to "1 message received".
so surprise me. 11月27日 not sickI'm not sick anymore! yay! well. kinda=) Thanks Mon for that raspberry-like-drink-in-the-lychee-MoguMogu-bottle. haha.
I think I really needed this sickness. Was a time of much needed rest, reading, time to think and pray, and basically...a break from school. Last week was a really unhappy time at school, so I'm glad for the MC. Thanks, all you my loving, faithful, adoring fans (friends) who sent love and brownies and teddy bears through SMS.
On a side note...I think my musical ability is, like, falling. Needta spend serious time training. After all, can't be a rockstar and go platinum with substandard skills, now can I? aha. 11月20日 and then some.And when you thought things couldn't get any worse, it just did.
4th worst day of my life.
Boo. 11月12日 never rains but poursSometimes, medicine has a way of making you feel extremely inadequate.
Thing is, when it comes to disease, we don't see what we don't think of, and we can't think of what we don't know, and we don't know cos...there's so much to know. haha. So while we want to be the best we can for our patients (the genetics patients' anecdotes today reinforced this), there are nights like tonight when I'm feeling too tired, slightly overwhelmed, super behind, woefully inexperienced and tellingly unpractised.
On a side note, it's been raining heavily these past few days. I love the rain, the feeling of water on my skin, but I haven't had the chance to walk in it/breathe it in yet. Perhaps I will (on fri or something) so I can get sick over the weekend and be okay by monday. haha. Then again, I have a wedding rehearsal this friday (James+Amy). Hmm....maybe nest week, then.
Hopefully it'll still be raining then 11月9日 paedsFor all my adoring fans out there, I'm sorry I haven't been posting updates for awhile. Anyway, I'm in KK hospital paediatrics! It's quite fun, really. I've learnt a few things myself:
1. I like kids. I really do.
2. I just can't handle them. I really can't.
3. Therefore I'm thankful that they're not mine.
4. Some parents can be rather nasty.
Haha. Recently, it seems that my friends are having problems too. So ya...jiayou! Love covers a multitude of sins! (I dunno which part of the bible it's from, but I'm pretty sure it is in the bible) So let's continue to love one another, and be one big happy family! (as Ann likes to say. "Family-feeling" seems to be her new catchphrase, and I must say it is rather catchy. And I know why Ann's so happy nowadaes!! *wink*)
"There's a rainbow in every sky, if we'd only look up" 10月20日 Back from downunderBack from Sydney! Was fun wandering the streets and sights alone for a few days.
But I guess it's only after today's LM (and Joo Wei's msg) that I've realised is that true rest...is the state of who I am in Christ, and in the place that God places me, with the people that I love.
Lotsa presents to give out!
10月11日 what indeedAnd when the exam ends with a stretch and a sigh, and the celebration in lethargic silence; as the people dwindle as we go our separate ways, what is left to us?
When we remember the pain on a friend's face from a station gone badly; as the awkward laughs to cover up their insecurities and fears of failing fade, who stands beside us?
As we return to stacks of notes and books left in disarray from nights of semi-panicked studying; as mums and maids start to nag about cleaning up our own mess (hey, they know the exam's over too=), where does that leave us?
When all isn't said and done, and we take a breath before another plunge......what now? 9月30日 40-hour-rock-starI wanna be a rock star!!
Or rather an alternative-blues-rock-occasionally-soul-and-piano-star. (fine, so I like different kindsa music)
Anyway, the point is I'm tired of being a med student!! arghh....Placenta-abruptio and post-partum-haemorraghe in the mum and erythema-toxicum vs milia vs miliria in the infant. Doom.
We should have more than 24 hours a day. There should be 2 hours more sleep, 1 hour more for recreation/play, 1 hour more for homework/study, 45minutes for travelling and generally waking up late (i thought today's lecture was at 9am. boo.), and 1 hour more each night for the rock-stars-by-night. Let's see, that makes... 39hours45min per day. Round up to 40 la.
Thank God tmr is Hari Raya! (ermm I know that's kinda weird cos I'm a Christian, but I'm thankful nonetheless=) 9月19日 low powerIt's late on a friday night, marking the end of my 1st week in KK hospital. I know I've been much too slack for my own good, but there's just no motivation inside to go to school(hospital) and do stuff. Then again, maybe it's not all the stuff, just the stuff that's in short supply and has competition for. Stuff like certain clinics, certain patients and deliveries.
I think I have a thing about competing for deliveries and clinic slots and the like...I'd rather just let the other guy go first. I mean, he has just as much right as I do (or as the other 40 people do) to do stuff, and it isn't his fault that opportunities are limited. And a patient may have classic signs, symptoms and all, but having 5 students consecutively clerking her is just too much. As for deliveries....ah I don't even wanna start.
Guess I'll needta be more hardworking next week. Then again Jx just reminded me that there are cell group needs aplenty, and I wanna be doing Crusade stuff too. There are lotsa things in medicine (e.g. private obstetrician mill) to be disillusioned about, and many times I wanna just do my thing and let others shoulder the responsibilities and take care of themselves and all......
but
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' |
|
|
